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Why I failed to build my self confidence in my new environment? It is not far from the reason that I felt so weak, so small, and less powerful because I always considered all conditions in Thammasat have the higher standards than mine. I was a little bit apprehensive about my capability that would be competed with other students. Thammasat has best learning systems and its system makes the impression on the tight regulations, the high grading standards, the perfect academic staff, and the best chosen students for me.
First, I worried if Thammasat applies burdensome regulations that were likely to make me difficult to follow. I want to give the best image as Indonesian exchanged students transferred to study in Thammasat. However, I was afraid I cannot undertake all ideals I have. For simple example, I am expected to arrive at campus punctually. It is not a hard obligation for students who are customized to come to class on time. However, I very realize that I cannot be categorized as a diligent student that always obeys all of Thammasat official regulations.
Secondly, Thammasat University and its best learning system can guessed it will apply the higher grading standards than my home university’s standards. I thought it would be difficult to gain a good score in Thammasat although actually I had joined all of Thammasat courses’ in my home university. However, it does not simply study over again in different university because what Thammasat courses’ materials have more detailed explanations, further analyzed contents, specific information.
Thirdly, both worries above are completed by the condition that I have to compete with many high quality students in Thammasat. I consider myself as student with an average intelligence and it will be hard to compete with Thammasat students. I am conscious that I have a lack to memorize. Besides, the ability to remember is very needed in my History classes. I have to memorize the names of important figure, the name of particular events, the details of date and causes. I am expected to know the details of historical knowledge without doing analysis at all. I prefer to analyze certain topics, searching as much as my own data (regardless any standard of lecturer' data), give my own objective opinion, build my scientific interpretation, and make my perfect conclusion. I think it will be more essential than students are only demanded to remember all information lecturer have prepared for them. Unfortunately, desire may skew reality. Thammasat learning systems require its students to know all information presented by the lecturers, not to have their own opinions.
Sometimes humans have to do what they don't like to do! Begitulah idealnya manusia. Lagi lagi aku harus bilang, jangan gunakan emosi karna akalmu yang akan mampu menjawab semua pertanyaan.
Coba kita buat ilustrasinya. Ahay! :)
Ada dua orang yang kelaparan, sangat kelaparan dan gag ada bahan makanan pun yang tersisa di daerah terdekat. Tragisnya, kalo mereka gag segera makan, mereka akan mati. Berarti disini ada 3 kemungkinan:
a. Pasrah dan mati
b. Makan temannya sendiri
c. Berusaha mencari dan mencari apa yang bisa dimakan
Pilihan A akan dipilih orang2 yang lemah, yang tidak akan bisa bertahan dimana pun keadaannnya. Pilihan B akan dipilih orang2 yang menjunjung mazhab "lakukan apa yang kamu ingin lakukan". Pilihan C akan dipilih orang2 yang pantang menyerah, orang yang menggunakan akalnya dan mengabaikan emosinya. Karena mereka percaya emosi kadang menjerumuskan. Mereka berusaha keluar dari zona nyamannya. Dalam ilustrasi ini, zona nyaman tersebut digambarkan ketika mereka memutuskan untuk memakan temannya sendiri. Tapi apakah hal itu tidak menentang ideal yang seharusnya? Zona nyaman tidak selalu yang terbaik untuk kita. Manusia punya otak. Gunakan lah selagi bisa. Haha.
Oh iya, ilustrasi tentang kanibalism itu aku dapet dari mata kuliah American Historyku. Ini bukan hal yang tabu lho para pembaca sekalian. Sejarah Amerika menyebutkan adanya Donner Party. Donner Party merepresentasikan adanya suatu kelompok yang hijrah menuju California. Yang menurut pandangan mereka, California itu dianggap sebagai daerah yang sudah mengakui adanya kebebasan beragama dan kesederajatan manusia. Itulah sebab mengapa mreka memutuskan untuk melakukan perjalanan ke tempat tersebut walaupun cuaca pada saat itu yang tidak mendukung, pas winter cing! Haha. Enak kayaknya bisa liat salju. Eh eh, balik ke cerita awal, :) Selama perjalanan mreka ke California, mreka kehabisan bahan makanan. Akhirnya, mereka memakan teman mereka sendiri dan kejadian ini yang disebut Donner Party.
Wow, tulisanku berantakan! Apa gunanya menyelipkan materi kuliah di dalam tulisan pribadi. Haha. Lagi lagi aku melakukan kecerobohan. Gag papa lah. Hal tersebut suatu bukti kalo aku begiiiiiiiiituuuu mencintai apa yang aku pelajari sekarang. It always gives me so much much much fun!
Untuk menghindari adanya kemungkinan menghasilkan tulisan yang punya inti banyak dan bercabang, maka saya akhiri tulisan ini sampai disini. Haha. :)
Ada banyak jalan menuju Roma! (Entah nyambung atau gag dengan tulisannya, tapi aku suka kutipan ini) Haha.
Today is:
About: Irawatii
- Irawati Ika
- Bangkok, Thailand
- An INdonesian, an undergraduate student, a daughter of wonderful family, a thinker, a feminist, and a future revolutioner *i hope*. Studying in Ahmad Dahlan University,Faculty of Letters, English Literature department. Currently joining Thammasat University, Faculty of Liberal Arts, British and American Studies department as an exchanged-student under MIT (Malaysia-Indonesia-Thailand) program
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It was my 21st birthday two days ago. I can only wonder I have lived for more than two decades. Wow! I begin to make a question about my own life: what is my greatest accomplishment in life?
I can only acknowledge that I have not achieved many accomplishment yet in my life. Now, I have to think how to improve my living quality. Did I already get successes? How can I achieve those? What are the other success that I did not gain yet? When will I gain those? and how can I gain those as soon as possible?
However, overall, I am very grateful to have a wonderful life: my family, relatives, friends, and lovers. Thanks to them for always giving me a life learning, a greatest support, and an endless companionship. Without all of them, I am convinced that I could not attain success.
My reflections
What I have to achieve:
- a mental stability
Actually I find the highest dificulty to handle my own emotion. Fortunately, day by day I can always step forward to organize and improve my mind well. It maybe also explain my progress to get maturity.
- an academic achievement
I have finished to complete my first draft of thesis, my high enough credit academic score, my greatest experiences to study abroa. All of those can help to motive me to be graduated next year. Amin.
- life with clearer purpose
I should begin to think about my future occupation, my graduate study, my plan to be entrepreneur, and many other targets in my life. It is time to maintain them well.
Struggle to gain a better future!
Labels: Life thinking
It is my success day to extend my visa in Thai. I already experienced a critical struggle to find a best way to extend it. Actually it is a very easy task to undertake this duty. However, my habit to procrastinate makes me get into trouble to complete it. The story begins:
My friend, Cresna, had told me that we had to fill a requesting form and submit it to BAS office as soon as possible. This form would be necessary for us to gain a letter which is one of visa extending requirements. It means that if we did not submit a form, we would not gain a letter. Moreover, if we did not gain a letter, we could not extend our visa. Then, if we did not extend our visa, we had to leave Thai. Furthermore, if we left Thai, we would not success to complete our exchanged study in Thammasat University. You can imagine how important that requesting form is.
However, the nature of procrastination always brings me to become the person who is stagnant mentally and practically. I considered my duty as trivia and tend to ignore it; whereas actually that is what extremely I had to do. Therefore, I always procrastinated to undertake that duty. The case of extending visa can be an appropriate example to illustrate my procrastination. Actually to fill the one-page requesting form could not need time more than 5 minutes. Moreover, my classroom is in the same building as BAS Office so actually I can go to BAS Office to submit the form easily. Because of my procrastination, I had to get bad consequences to extend visa. I failed to get the letter from university in time.
It is a big trouble for us; me and my two friends, Cresna and Mega. BAS Office told us we had to extend visa for seven days and extend again until the end of semester after BAS Office could give the letter. It is because we could not extend visa more than seven days without bringing the letter from university. The worse possibility was when BAS Office could not give the letter during seven days of our first extending visa. It meant that we should extend for the first seven days, extend again for the second seven days, and extend until the end of semester after we got the letter. It could not be a matter if we only go to immigration office frequently to extend visa which did not only need the once action. However, we only worried about our pocket money if we had to pay twice (or maybe three time). Thus, we began to think how we could extend visa without paying more than once.
We went to International Office and Mr. Hamam (our friend that becomes a lecturer in Thammasat University) to gain advice from them. At first, Mr. Hamam suggested us to take "running visa". We should pay around 3000 bath that is equal to the fee to extend visa twice. The benefit to take "running visa" is we can be invited to walk around Cambodia for free. Later, Mr. Hamam got information that if we take "running visa", we can get tourist visa rather than student visa. It would be likely Thammasat could not accept its foreign student with tourist visa to study in Thai. The first choice should be forgotten, we thought.
After three times we went to International Office to get help to find the best way extending visa, we got a little enlightenment from it. Pi Maa, Head of International Student Services Division in Thammasat University told us that we might be able to gain the letter from the rector of International Office. We submit the requesting form in the same day after we got it from Pi Maa. Fortunately, we succeeded to gain the letter before our visa was expired. Thank you God, Thank you Pi Maa, Thank you Mr. Hamam, and apologize to BAS Office for bring you into our trouble.
Our experience becomes the life learning to us. Do not procrastinate! Now is better than later.
After three times we went to International Office to get help to find the best way extending visa, we got a little enlightenment from it. Pi Maa, Head of International Student Services Division in Thammasat University told us that we might be able to gain the letter from the rector of International Office. We submit the requesting form in the same day after we got it from Pi Maa. Fortunately, we succeeded to gain the letter before our visa was expired. Thank you God, Thank you Pi Maa, Thank you Mr. Hamam, and apologize to BAS Office for bring you into our trouble.
Our experience becomes the life learning to us. Do not procrastinate! Now is better than later.
Bangkok: October 29th, 2010
Labels: Experiences, Life thinking
Seperti ilmu padi, semakin berisi semakin merunduk. Ungkapan ini lah yang seharusnya dijadikan sebagai pedoman hidup manusia intelektual yang masih menyematkan arti sosial di setiap liku kehidupan mereka Mereka tidak hanya akan mengagungkan jutaan ilmu yang melingkari otak mereka, tetapi mereka juga mempunyai empati terhadap jiwa-jiwa lain yang kekurangan kesempatan untuk mencium tanda-tanda peradaban yang dilakukan akal mereka. Sehingga, aku kerucutkan tulisanku untuk membahas bagaimana idealnya manusia berakal dalam menyikapi hujanan akal pengetahuan yang berkemungkinan membuat mereka terlena akan kemapan mereka, buta terhadap bentuk-bentuk lain yang menyeramkan, tuli terhadap jeritan-jeritan yang mengusik, dan diam diantara segelintir hati-hati yang mencoba bertahan.
Sekarang, saya hanya mampu menangisi segerombolan kejadian yang telah saya lewati. Kejadian yang akhirnya menggerakkan aku untuk meninggalkan singgasana terindahku selama sepenggal periode kemasyuranku. Saat itu, dunia beserta isinya seakan milikku, hingga detail-detail bumi pun tak luput dari pencermatanku. Ku coba ketahui segala pengetahuan yang ada dan akhirnya aku sukses untuk memperolehnya. Aku merasa bangga akan apa yang aku lakukan karena hal tersebut sangat mustahil diperoleh tanpa adanya usaha yang keras. Ku bayar proses itu dengan keberhasilan yang sempurna, hingga kulengkapi semua itu dengan keangkuhan. Sikap yang aku dapati dari diriku, dampak dari kemapanan pencapaianku. Ku lihat segalanya nampak begitu kecil, hingga aku merasa terheran-heran menyikapi hal-hal yang berukuran mikroskopik tersebut. Ku dengar suara itu begitu jauh, hingga aku merasa tidak butuh repot-repotuntuk mendengarkannya. Ku menari-nari di tengah kerajaanku yang sedang bertengger indah di sekeliling ilalang-ilalang yang lebat.
Setelah aku cukup bosan dengan rutinitas itu, akhirnya muncul kekuatan yang mendorongku untuk bertanya pada jiwa yang kolot ini, apa yang sebenarnya aku cari dari hidupku? Apa yang menjadi tujuan pencarian pengetahuanku? Apa manfaat pengetahuanku terhadapku dan MEREKA? MEREKA, ya meraka, pandanganku masih terlampau kabur untuk menjelaskan definisi mereka. Haruskah aku memberikan kesempatan mereka untuk sekedar melihat megahnya kerajaanku yang tidak mungkin habis walaupun mereka menggrogotinya dengan ganasnya? Mereka yang selama ini kurang aku mengerti keberaadaannya karena selama ini hidupku berprinsip untuk selalu menganggap mereka remeh dan tak berguna. Mereka tak berguna, karena tidak ada yang memfungsikan. Mereka lemah, karena dikompetisikan di jalur yang bukan bidangnya. Mereka tak berakal, karena meraka bersanding dengan akal-akal yang dikembangkan.
Kejayaan itu ada siklusnya. Tidak lah mungkin suatu kerajaan berkuasa selama sepanjang kehidupan. Kita hanya perlu menunggu sampai kita memperoleh puncak kejayaan dan setelah itu mengamati penurunan dari titik klimaks kita. Kita akan mendapati diri kita dianggap bodoh oleh sekawanan orang-orang yang ketika ketika sedang berjaya, mereka belum bisa melihat apapun. Bagi mereka, aku adalah orang lapuk yang bodoh yang segala yang aku yakini tidak lagi dipercaya siapa. Sama persis ketika dulu aku pernah melihat jiwa-jiwa yang teorinya selalu aku anggap terlalu konvensional. Semua adalah tentang putaran, dan waktu yang akan menjawab semuanya. Maka kita hanya perlu bersiap untuk menunggu giliran kita.
Maka dari itu, betapa kasihannya manusia jika mereka hanya mengagungkan pengetahuannya tanpa menyadari bahwa kejayaan mereka lambat laun akan terenggut. Ilmu itu bukan tanpa tujuan. Ilmu itu buah, yang tidak hanya dinikmati oleh penanamnya saja, tetapi hampir semua orang yang membutuhkannya. Kita tidak diharapkan bercongkak diri atas pengetahuan itu. Yang perlu kita lakukan hanya berpikir bagaimana caranya ilmu itu akan dirasakan dampaknya oleh sebanyak mungkin otak-otak yang kelaparan. Sebarkan ilmu sebanyak kau hirup udara yang dianugrahkan terhadapmu.
Labels: Life thinking
Dave Weinbaum asserts: "If you can't excel with talent, triumph with effort." This saying motivates many people to fight their terrible fear and keep the highest power in progress to gain their life destinations. Notwithstanding, usually they also fully realize they have many weaknesses that are likely to impede the progress and encourage its failure. If they face the doubt of success, they only have to be determined that nothing is impossible when humans have desire to try to get the ultimate success.
It is my own experience that story about how I change my notion about talent and effort. Bangkok and Thammasat finally reinforces my belief that a talent is not everything because we can win everything we want with our hard effort. Before I acknowledge the rightness of that belief, I was always accompanied by the fear of failure in academics. In Bangkok, I am expected to quickly adapt to new situations. I should be accustomed to study with different people in different system of learning. At first, I doubted on my ability to be able to achieve the high score in academic matters. Actually there is no one that gives me responsibility to gain excellent academic score but I always force myself to show my best performance. Nevertheless, I had many obstacles in my own mind to success on what I plan to do. Thammasat predicated as the second-best university in Thailand unconsciously depresses me and bring me to get my lowest confidence.
It is my own experience that story about how I change my notion about talent and effort. Bangkok and Thammasat finally reinforces my belief that a talent is not everything because we can win everything we want with our hard effort. Before I acknowledge the rightness of that belief, I was always accompanied by the fear of failure in academics. In Bangkok, I am expected to quickly adapt to new situations. I should be accustomed to study with different people in different system of learning. At first, I doubted on my ability to be able to achieve the high score in academic matters. Actually there is no one that gives me responsibility to gain excellent academic score but I always force myself to show my best performance. Nevertheless, I had many obstacles in my own mind to success on what I plan to do. Thammasat predicated as the second-best university in Thailand unconsciously depresses me and bring me to get my lowest confidence.
Why I failed to build my self confidence in my new environment? It is not far from the reason that I felt so weak, so small, and less powerful because I always considered all conditions in Thammasat have the higher standards than mine. I was a little bit apprehensive about my capability that would be competed with other students. Thammasat has best learning systems and its system makes the impression on the tight regulations, the high grading standards, the perfect academic staff, and the best chosen students for me.
First, I worried if Thammasat applies burdensome regulations that were likely to make me difficult to follow. I want to give the best image as Indonesian exchanged students transferred to study in Thammasat. However, I was afraid I cannot undertake all ideals I have. For simple example, I am expected to arrive at campus punctually. It is not a hard obligation for students who are customized to come to class on time. However, I very realize that I cannot be categorized as a diligent student that always obeys all of Thammasat official regulations.
Secondly, Thammasat University and its best learning system can guessed it will apply the higher grading standards than my home university’s standards. I thought it would be difficult to gain a good score in Thammasat although actually I had joined all of Thammasat courses’ in my home university. However, it does not simply study over again in different university because what Thammasat courses’ materials have more detailed explanations, further analyzed contents, specific information.
Thirdly, both worries above are completed by the condition that I have to compete with many high quality students in Thammasat. I consider myself as student with an average intelligence and it will be hard to compete with Thammasat students. I am conscious that I have a lack to memorize. Besides, the ability to remember is very needed in my History classes. I have to memorize the names of important figure, the name of particular events, the details of date and causes. I am expected to know the details of historical knowledge without doing analysis at all. I prefer to analyze certain topics, searching as much as my own data (regardless any standard of lecturer' data), give my own objective opinion, build my scientific interpretation, and make my perfect conclusion. I think it will be more essential than students are only demanded to remember all information lecturer have prepared for them. Unfortunately, desire may skew reality. Thammasat learning systems require its students to know all information presented by the lecturers, not to have their own opinions.
Fortunately, Now I am not worried about whether I will gain success in academic matters or not. Alllah always gives me guidance to be able to solve my problem. With the permission of Allah, I always attempt to show my highest effort in academic matters. Regardless what score I can gain, I study as strong as I can. I never give up although at first I felt so weak because of three main reasons above; the regulations, grading standard, and high quality students. My mid-term examinations become an example of the idea that all things can happen if humans want to show their efforts. I use my weakness as learning for the next steps and undertake the powerful efforts in facing mid-term examinations. Finally, my efforts equal its results; moreover, it is not about talents. It is about attainment that all humans can achieve although they have so many weakness and less talents. Two points that I can learn from my weakness at the first time I face different conditions in Thailand and Thammasat as specific. Those are the importance of self reliance and the belief that all objectives can be achieved by all people with their high efforts. Now, you can imagine, I as an academically less talented student can gain success in academic matters, why are there still many people always say "I cannnot because I have no power (talent)". People only have to show their efforts!
SEMANGAT GENERASI PENERUS INDONESIA! :)
SEMANGAT GENERASI PENERUS INDONESIA! :)
Labels: Life thinking
Sometimes humans have to do what they don't like to do! Kalimat itu aku kutip dari omongan temenku German. Lagi lagi dia membuatku mulai berpikir, membuatku mulai memperbaiki jalan pikir, membuatku sadar sesuatu yang kadang aku abaikan selama ini. Gaya bicaranya mengena, yang kadang begitu menyakitkan karena penggunaan kata2 yang terlalu blak-blakan. Tapi hal itu berhasil menamparku dan mengganguku yang sedang ada di zona ternyamanku. Karna terlalu nyaman membuat kita terlena, membuat kita buta, membuat kita tidak peka, membuat malas untuk berpikir.
Sometimes humans have to do what they don't like to do! Begitulah idealnya manusia. Lagi lagi aku harus bilang, jangan gunakan emosi karna akalmu yang akan mampu menjawab semua pertanyaan.
Coba kita buat ilustrasinya. Ahay! :)
Ada dua orang yang kelaparan, sangat kelaparan dan gag ada bahan makanan pun yang tersisa di daerah terdekat. Tragisnya, kalo mereka gag segera makan, mereka akan mati. Berarti disini ada 3 kemungkinan:
a. Pasrah dan mati
b. Makan temannya sendiri
c. Berusaha mencari dan mencari apa yang bisa dimakan
Pilihan A akan dipilih orang2 yang lemah, yang tidak akan bisa bertahan dimana pun keadaannnya. Pilihan B akan dipilih orang2 yang menjunjung mazhab "lakukan apa yang kamu ingin lakukan". Pilihan C akan dipilih orang2 yang pantang menyerah, orang yang menggunakan akalnya dan mengabaikan emosinya. Karena mereka percaya emosi kadang menjerumuskan. Mereka berusaha keluar dari zona nyamannya. Dalam ilustrasi ini, zona nyaman tersebut digambarkan ketika mereka memutuskan untuk memakan temannya sendiri. Tapi apakah hal itu tidak menentang ideal yang seharusnya? Zona nyaman tidak selalu yang terbaik untuk kita. Manusia punya otak. Gunakan lah selagi bisa. Haha.
Oh iya, ilustrasi tentang kanibalism itu aku dapet dari mata kuliah American Historyku. Ini bukan hal yang tabu lho para pembaca sekalian. Sejarah Amerika menyebutkan adanya Donner Party. Donner Party merepresentasikan adanya suatu kelompok yang hijrah menuju California. Yang menurut pandangan mereka, California itu dianggap sebagai daerah yang sudah mengakui adanya kebebasan beragama dan kesederajatan manusia. Itulah sebab mengapa mreka memutuskan untuk melakukan perjalanan ke tempat tersebut walaupun cuaca pada saat itu yang tidak mendukung, pas winter cing! Haha. Enak kayaknya bisa liat salju. Eh eh, balik ke cerita awal, :) Selama perjalanan mreka ke California, mreka kehabisan bahan makanan. Akhirnya, mereka memakan teman mereka sendiri dan kejadian ini yang disebut Donner Party.
Wow, tulisanku berantakan! Apa gunanya menyelipkan materi kuliah di dalam tulisan pribadi. Haha. Lagi lagi aku melakukan kecerobohan. Gag papa lah. Hal tersebut suatu bukti kalo aku begiiiiiiiiituuuu mencintai apa yang aku pelajari sekarang. It always gives me so much much much fun!
Untuk menghindari adanya kemungkinan menghasilkan tulisan yang punya inti banyak dan bercabang, maka saya akhiri tulisan ini sampai disini. Haha. :)
Ada banyak jalan menuju Roma! (Entah nyambung atau gag dengan tulisannya, tapi aku suka kutipan ini) Haha.
Labels: Life thinking
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